Unless you have a harelip or happen to be Wilford Brimley, you look exactly half as attractive with a mustache.

Women notice shoes. I can't stress this one guys!

They also notice nose hair; so should you.

Ninety-dollar shoes last half as long as $180 shoes, but $360 shoes will last you your whole life.

Three-hundred-sixty-dollar shoes will not last your whole life if you break their backs by refusing to use a shoehorn.

Three-hundred-sixty-dollar shoes without a shine can look like $90 shoes.

In a pinch, paper clips can be used in place of collar stays.

In a pinch, paper clips cannot be used in place of missing eyeglass screws.

If you can slip two fingers between your neck and the buttoned collar of a new dress shirt, the shirt will fit comfortably after laundering.

The shirt placket, the belt buckle, and the trouser fly should all line up.

Speaking of belt buckles, the point of your tie should never fall below it.

Suspenders, ill employed, produce wedgies.

No level of fitness justifies wearing a tank top in public.

Rent no clothing.

Neckties decorated with cartoon characters, golf tees, or the paintings of dead rock musicians coordinate with nothing.

It is never acceptable to loosen your tie, except during the process of its removal.

You are in your car an hour each day; you are in your clothes from morning to night. Spend accordingly.

The seat-belt shoulder strap goes under your necktie.