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Getting Over the Hump
by Ali Ashton
aashton@armadamag.com

Nothing is harder then trying to get over your first love, or you most recent love for that matter. The flame still burns on one end and it’s smoldering inside your heart and mind! It’s that wonderful feeling of love that has gone awry. Love! An emotion intended to share and thrive on, but when emotions sit and fester with no outlet there’s a pretty good chance you will go nuts. The sentiment becomes a pitiful passion with no place to go. This is why we have to get over the hump and move on!

After a breakup, how often are these flames rekindled? The emotions may be one-sided which may hurt even more if turned down…again. So the question now is, is it less harmful to remain quiet with these secretly brewing emotions or do you release your feelings to the world? Isn’t love a beautiful emotion that would be an honor for anyone to receive such a sentiment no matter the circumstance? 

Well if you aren’t going to rekindle the flames, I wonder how long it usually takes to fall out of love. Is there an equation for this sort of thing? Or maybe it’s tailored according to each individual heart? I am no mathematician, but I believe I am on to something. To go against the renown adage of “Time heels all wounds” and add a little “Ali flava,” look at this equation pulling some factors that play major roles in breakups and broken hearts.

I imagine the longevity of a relationship is a grandiose hurdle. The depth of the love and connection certainly play a large role, too. In my mind, future plans that were at any point discussed with your partner and intended to implement is never easy to forget. For example, my good friend was supposed to be proposed to this year by her boyfriend (currently ex-boyfriend) as he attempted to summit Mt. Everest. Well, the day just passed where the monumental feat was completed! She couldn’t have been prouder of his accomplished dream, but it was also bitter sweet knowing that the day could have been a peak in their memories, too. 

What about the hardships of the relationship? If the relationship consisted of an abundance of fighting then maybe the focus could be easily adverted to the bad times making the breakup a tad bit more manageable. But love is love and the bad is usually overshadowed with the good memories.

Heartbreak is like climbing a mountain. It’s constant work and pain trying to get over a past love. For some it could be as simple as climbing Stone Mountain and for others as complicated as Mount Everest. During the climb you can’t look behind because it merely hinders your progress and inhibits you from moving forward with life. Straight ahead is your target, your purpose. 

The Goal: Getting over him/her and moving on with life and eventually love again. You have to trek on and scale that mountain until you reach the pinnacle. Get over that hump that holds you hostage. It will keep harassing you until you see life from a new view. Reach the summit of a new beginning, a new landscape of fresh terrain to explore...with someone else.


Ali Ashton
aashton@armadamag.com