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Skillful Smooching
by Ali Ashton
aashton@armadamag.com

Ever broken up with someone for a pitiful peck? Maybe it all comes down to the first kiss and the deciding factor is pulled from the chemistry that lies between the two locking lips.

A kiss can tell a thousand words. What a person ate for lunch, if the person knows what the word 'subtle' means, or if there is truly a real connection between couples. A kiss, that pivotal moment in a relationship that either brings you closer, gives you butterflies in that immaculate moment or totally bombs the moment all to hell. Those are the moments that are never forgotten and let me tell you, girlfriends get an earful on the juicy details of Godzilla's tongue!

A few recollections I can pull out of the vault of all-time bad kisses include:

	Tongue first-A guy cant even wait a second to lead into a kiss, its tongue, tongue and a little more tongue. Not impressive and not the least bit attractive. Thoughts going on in my head, "Ewww, Abort mission!"
	Mr. Chappy-Lips that feel like alligator skin. Hey Buster, chapstick costs about $0.50.
	The Athlete-"On your mark, Get set, GO! And the tongue is coming around the corner, into the mouth and we have full speed ahead. Johnny, I think he might try his new move...Yes, he completed the double loop, swirl, twist and hook it move! Look at him GO!" --It's not a sporting event people!
	No chemistry-This involves both parties. I am sure there has to be some kind of connection if a kiss is in the picture, but sometimes it takes two to tango.
	Bad breath-Morning breath, tuna breath or just plain old Halitosis will set me off. I will wait here while you go get a mint! Thanks!
	Knocking teeth-The rhythm simulates a mosh pit!
Alright, so now that we have pointed out the obvious killers of the attainable romantic gestures, what are some tips to make the moment memorable, on the good side of the pro/con list women tend to write-up?
	The mood-Right timing is key. You can't lay one on someone without warning or a clue that it's on the way. Eye contact is important and will let you know if the other partner in this venture is ready to invest.
	Gentle and soft-I could be wrong, but I believe tender kisses are the way to win over the first smooch. It is respectful.
	To tongue or not to Tongue, that is the question. I am sure tongue will be involved in this day and age, but make sure its not a tongue war, and more of a "hi, nice to meet you" greeting. It's a way to get to know each other's slippery suckers.
	The Lip bite-Ah, the good ole lip nibble. Just don't bite too hard and everything will be A-Okay!
	The Gentleman-Hands on the face and a little lip locking smooch and you can never go wrong. I am sure the other party will be begging for more! It's such a tease!

The art of kissing is important and timing, chemistry and cleanliness all rank high on my kiss list. The right kiss can leave anyone sleepless at night just waiting for the next lip locking love connection! So pucker up and kiss away!

Any kissing horror stories out there?

Ali

aashton@armadamag.com